Tonight I was able to go and watch some crazy talented people perform in the BFA showcase. It was a little bitter sweet sitting in the audience when I wished I could've been on stage with all of them. But at the end of the night I was ecstatic that I had been able to be in the audience. To see how each and every one of them has progressed this year and grown is amazing. The talent in this department just blows my mind. I am continuously humbled and blown away.
This department of SUU's is made up of the most talented people I've met. It's truly humbling to work with them all. But at the same time it is overwhelmingly obnoxious at times. The reason being that the same handful of people get recognized and praised. And please don't misunderstand me: I'm not saying they don't deserve it. They are incredible and they work hard just like everyone else.
But there are those who are working harder and overcoming challenges that others aren't facing and they are fading into the background; unnoticed. For example:
In my dance for musical theater class are 4 of these crazy talented people that always get praised and recognized. They are extremely talented and humble about it. But in that class are a lot of other people that are working their butts off and no one seems to care. When we split into groups and perform for each other, those same 4 are always pointed out. But I watch those that aren't. And they are amazing. I have seen people grow in more ways than I can count this semester and I wish that someone else could see it.
There's Amber and Brooklyn. Both of them doubt themselves harshly. They tend to shake their heads and give up early. At least they did towards the beginning of the semester. But now? Here at the end? They have grown so much and I have seen their confidence grow with them. They smile more and they laugh and they're able to perform at a higher caliber than they could when the semester began. In our musical theater class Amber could hardly get through her first song without crying. She told us that she really hates singing and that it's really hard for her. But then, just last week, she sang her final performance of her singers choice piece and it was like a whole new girl had stepped onto that stage.
There's Carly and Brittany and Hannah. The 3 of them are goofballs and I love them all. They bring so much character into their dancing and even if they mess up, they smile and shrug it off and pick right back off as if nothing happened. Not many can do that.
There's Elisa. She is fearless. She commits so readily to the material given to her. She dives right in without worrying what other people will think or say. She's brilliant and funny and kind hearted.
There's Madeline. She's fierce and she doesn't know the word "can't". She puts everything she has into what she's doing and while she says "it doesn't look pretty but it'll do" she never stops trying and improving.
There's Jordan. He is a crazy talented dancer. He makes these little faces when he dances, their perfectly matched character wise, and it just takes his dancing that much higher. He is sharp and on point and learns quickly.
There's Tom. The crazy Australian. Sometimes it seems like he isn't trying and that he doesn't care. But he does. He works really hard and when he really puts his mind to it, his singing and his dancing is beautiful.
There's Lazaar. The-ginger-who-played-Lazaar-Wolf-in-Fiddler-who's-name-suddenly-erased-itself-from-my-brain. He's tall, very tall. And you wouldn't think that he can move as nimbly as someone of a slightly shorter stature, but he is quick. He is on top of what he's doing and he attacks it with strength and pizazz.
There's Brooke. She's a dancer at heart who decided to check out what the musical theater side of life was all about. She puts up with our craziness and she blends right in. She is talented and hits every line beautifully. Just as you would expect a dancer to do.
Then there's Alec, Luke, Tami and Tiffany. They are flawless and talented and spunky and noticed. Those 4 are the 4 that are always mentioned and praised.
But what about the others? I watch them. I watch them intently and I notice their progress. Why? So I can write things like this post--so I can single them out and tell them that their hard work is paying off even when it seems they're getting brushed aside and forgotten about. And maybe it's because I feel that way sometimes that I purposefully watch out for those who aren't recognized; for those who are putting all their heart and soul into something but still getting shoved aside.
YOU ARE TALENTED!! Your hard work is paying off. You have what it takes. It's not for nothing.
I wish I could tell them that. I wish they could know.
And they aren't the only ones. I know they aren't. There are dozens of people in the department that don't get thought of. They are fighting tooth and nail for opportunities and chances but no matter what they do they aren't given the chance. This department is made up of a handful of "leads"; that handful of people who are always cast in shows and recognized for their hard work. But this department is made up of more than its leads. It's made up of its ensemble. A crazy talented ensemble working their butts of trying to make a name for themselves; trying so hard to prove to everyone around them that they are just as talented and deserve just as much recognition and opportunities. And yes, I am one of them. I am fighting tooth and nail for my chance; for my turn in the spot light. And yes, every time it's within my grasp it feels as if something turns it off. And an opportunity is missed out on.
But there are more than just a handful of talented people in this department. And being a part of my musical theater performance class has shown me that more than anything else. In that class are the "leads" and the "ensemble members" of this department and I've got to spend a semester watching each and every one of them struggle through something difficult and overcome it.
And I couldn't be more proud.
This semester taught me so much about what it truly means to be a "lead". Being a "lead" in this business is more than just raw talent. It is hard work and late nights and long hours. It is vulnerability and a little presentational. It is going to the dark places and being the people we aren't used to being. It is telling a story in the most honest way we know how. It is never giving up and never letting "I'm not good enough" become a part of your vocabulary. It is taking constructive critisism and applying it. It is taking the highs as well as the lows. It is tears and sleepless nights and countless auditions. It is more than just a performance, it is a way of life.
And I choose to make it MY life.
<3: CourtneyRae<3
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