Oh Juries.
Shall I count the ways I hate you?
In all seriousness though, Juries are not my favorite thing in the world. They cause all this in-needed stress and they really aren't even all that difficult. yes I have to memorize a lot of music and be able to sing whatever song is chosen at random, but that's it! And sure, there is a short dance routine that I have to learn to prove that I still deserve to be in the BFA program and to show my professors that yes, I am progressing. And sure there is an interview with all of said professors.
But it is really not that difficult.
Unfortunately for me I sprained my ankle on Thursday during my Improvisation dance final, so I am back on crutches. Which sucks. So I didn't get to learn the dance jury which I was actually quite bummed about. For the first time since being here, I watched that routine and thought to myself, "Yes, I could do that. I am a dancer". It was empowering.
But the coolest part of this whole thing yesterday (Saturday), was my interview.
In the past these have not gone very good for me. The first one I remember I fell to pieces and cried about how I worry I am only a pretty voice and that I'm not really talented. The second one I was called out on being lazy and not putting for the work that I should and for being to shy and apologetic of myself. So this year, I was hoping for so much more.
And boy did I get it.
Peter told me how incredible my growth has been this year and complimented me on my grasp of the language in Shakespeare II.
Melinda told me how my growth is that much more incredible because of how quickly it is happening, but even ore so, it is great because my passion is burning being it and I am rising to meet my potential.
Scott was concerned about my work ethic in his classes and cautioned me to 'step it up' for Capstone(I am taking it next Fall) or I might not pass/graduate. To which Melinda expressed her worry with my 10 class load next Fall.
YIKES!
But I'm trying to graduate which means taking literally all my dance classes. At least all the lower level classes so that I can take higher levels in the spring. I am determined to be a confident dancer when I leave SUU. If I had to choose one goal for graduating, it would be that.
Cameron has already given me the greatest compliments of all PAUSE II
I totally forgot to mention that! During tech for Heathers Cameron approached me and told me about this theatre company he Music Directs For (lake Dillon Theatre Co. in Colorado) and told me that they had an open spot and he wanted to pass along my information (headshot/resume/audition cut) to the directors. He told me that they don't like to hire students so my chances were slim. But he then went on to tell me that I would be perfect for their season next summer and that if anyone was going to make it in this business I would. Which HOLY CRAP that is a huge thing to hear from Cameron. He doesn't give out compliments very often, so when he does you know they are sincere. I was so humbled and so thrilled to hear that from him. He has been working professionally in this business and industry for 10 years. 10 years and he is only 26. That's crazy! So he definitely knows what he is talking about. He also told me that I should seriously consider taking an audition trip to new York and just audition for literally everything, especially Lake Dillon. So I am working on making that happen. He also told me that the more he works with me the more impressed he is. So ya. I have been flying pretty high for these last few weeks.
PLAY >
Anyhow, Cameron told me that I should not be afraid to chase after what I want in every capacity. In class and voice lessons and wherever I work from here. he told me not to be afraid to work what I want in order to carve out my niche. He told me not to be afraid to keep the people I work with honest while I chase after exactly what I want my training to be.
Overall it was such an uplifting experience to have my professors tell me they were proud of me and that I was doing great work. They all had very nice things to say and overall were just thrilled that I have finally arrived.
I am so ready to do this thing. I have never felt better about my career choice than I have over these last few weeks. I feel like I finally know what it means to really work a show and devote all of your energy to it. I feel like I finally know how to be confident in my body and my movement capabilities. I am confident in my talents for probably the first time in years and I feel like I could take on the world.
When I started at SUU I knew that I was talented but I thought I wasn't good enough to ever really act outside of High School. So I planned on teach at HS. Then I met Kollin and started growing (very slowly at first) and I decided that I didn't want to teach HS and that I was talented enough to gain some real world experience and I decided that I wanted to teach on a collegiate level.
Well, here we are, the end of my 4th year of school and I have decided that I want to perform. I want to chase auditions and chase after shows and pour my soul and my passion into everything I do.
I want to experience.
That is the biggest thing I have learned this year.
I want to experience as much of everything as I can because eventually I want to be like my professors: in a classroom at a college, sharing experiences and working with students and helping them realize and reach their full potential.
I don't have a CLUE what my life holds, but I know one thing for certain: I want to perform.
And that is exactly what I am going to do, just you watch me.
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